140512_slurpeejar

I was wondering why there weren’t any movie based Slurpee cups this Summer.

Now I know why - 7-Eleven no longer wants movie fans, they instead want the hipster vote.

At least that’s what I assume by their new series of collectors cups and straws. The cup - a faux plastic mason jar. The straws - based on mustaches.

I feel like something just jumped a shark somewhere.

Here’s the full press release, direct from 7-Eleven. It’s kinda cringe-worthy.

7-Eleven® Rolls Out Mustache Straws, Mason Jar Mugs for Slurpee Summer of Fun

Dallas (May 12, 2014) — It was only a matter of time. They’re seemingly everywhere — on party supplies, clothing, jewelry, candy, decals, at stache bashes, in party photo booths, even on cars and baby pacifiers.

Now, mustaches are on Slurpee® drink straws too, the perfect accompaniment to this summer’s new, novelty Slurpee cup — a 26-ounce refillable, plastic Mason jar mug. Both on-trend Slurpee accessories, sold separately, are made for summer fun and available exclusively at participating 7-Eleven® stores.

Retailing for 99 cents, the mustache straw comes in four styles and colors. The suggested retail price for the clear Mason jar mug with a colorful screw-top lid, reusable straw (sans mustache) and Slurpee logo is $2.99. The retro-like cup also comes in four colors — blue, green, orange or pink. The first Slurpee comes free with purchase of the Mason jar mug, and refills are discounted.

“Slurpee-lovers of all ages will have fun sporting their favorite stache straw with a mason jar mug, and enjoying a Slurpee drink is all about fun and flavor,“ said Laura Gordon, 7-Eleven vice president of brand innovation and marketing. “While everyone loves Slurpee drinks year-round, summertime is definitely Slurpee season. I suspect we will see lots of Slurpee mustache photos on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter (@slurpee or @7eleven).

“People in our office have unofficially named the four mustache styles,“ Gordon said. “The British, the handlebar, the Hogan after wrestler Hulk Hogan, and the Swanson, as in Ron Swanson, a character on NBC’s “Parks and Recreation" sit-com series played by Nick Offerman. I think it will be interesting to see which mustaches sell best. Of course, people can buy all four to match their Slurpee moods or if they want to slurp incognito.“

Colorful, tongue-in-cheek 7-Eleven billboards in select markets feature a costumed man and animals sporting Slurpee staches. The mustache straws and Mason jar mugs will be available at participating 7-Eleven stores during the summer while supplies last.