Rebecca Jennings at McSweeney’s:

Here is an anecdote about a very small and seemingly irrelevant occurrence that happened way back in like, 2009. It doesn’t involve anyone you’ve ever heard of and it’s honestly not that interesting. But trust me, once you make it to the end of this thing, it’ll all make total sense, and you’ll feel as though everything — literally every question you’ve ever had about the world — has suddenly clicked into place. You’ll experience a sense of satisfaction few human beings have ever known. Seriously, trust me! It’s gonna be great.

All you have to do is read the rest of these 18,564 words.

My Instapaper account is filled with the articles this one is lampooning.

I’m part of the problem.