The Onion:

Looking at all your posts and pictures a long time after he should have stopped, a creepy weirdo was still stalking you on Facebook, sources confirmed Thursday. The total freak reportedly goes through your profile multiple times per day and always wants to know what you’re doing, where you go, and who you’re friends with. Sources also confirmed that no matter how you try to change your privacy settings, you can’t stop the disturbing sleazebag from seeing everything in your feed. The worst part, according to people familiar with the creepy weirdo, is that he actually saves all your pictures, videos, and notes, and then shares them with tons of other people.